the gps dress
This dress could change the world. The idea came from all those gps-obsessed husbands and fathers. How many of you have one? My niece, the brilliant seamstress, recently drove to my house from Philadelphia. Her husband had insisted that she bring the gps. And as she anticipated, the gps only brought confusion and disorder as it led her across the most obtrusive roads.
Ever since my husband bought a gps, he carries it in his pocket. I'm glad that I can rely on him at any given moment to tell me his coordinates on this big round earth. I was thinking that this could be really useful for children. So I designed this little dress with a special gps microchip imbedded in the back pocket. Now I can know where my daughter is at any given moment. She takes a step to the right, and I know where she is. She takes a step to the left, and I know where she is.
I think life would have been different for all those little wandering forest girls--Gretel, Goldy Locks, the babes in the woods--who were perpetually lost, if only their mothers had dressed them in a gps dress....