10.20.2008

...and we have a winner - THE MOST HORRIBLE PARENTING MOMENT EVER

Sarah, bless your heart:

"Our most humbling moment as parents happened just after I had our second child. My son was just over two at the time and had not quite figured out the rules of potty training. I was recovering from a week of my own stomach virus - just what a nursing mom of a 2 mos old and a 2 year old needs - so when my husband asked if he could take our son on a run and shoe shopping, I jumped at the chance to send the newborn along as well. Thinking of this as a rare chance to fit in a run, and being a novice daddy of two, my husband arrived at the shoe store with both kids only to realize that the stroller wouldn't fit in the store and he had no pockets to carry his cell phone and wallet or baby carrier to facilitate carrying the infant. Determined to make do, he balanced the wobbly headed baby in one arm and his device/wallet in the other arm while running after our pinball of a son who was already 4 feet ahead, rifling through boxes, pulling shoes off the shelf... Frantically straightening in the wake of our son, at some point my husband looked up to find he'd lost the 2 year-old. Thankfully, another shopper pointed my husband to our son, now poised in the doorway of the store with his pants at his ankles. Peeing. Humiliated, my husband rushed to the front of the store at unhuman pace, with the bobbly headed infant, wallet and phone all precariously balanced in his arms. By the time he reached the front of the store, our son was pooping. Knowing he hadn't considered this a possibility and so didn't have a diaper or a stitch of wet wipes in the stroller - it was after all supposed to be a 30 minute trip - immediately ducked into the now long line at the cashier to ask for something to clean up the mess. At this point our son is standing in his "wipe-me" position with bare poopy bottom high in the air yelling "Daaaaah-ddy! Daaaah-ddy!" We've become HUGE zappos.com fans as a result of that experience. Two years later, we can still make out the discoloration on the pavement at the store front."

All of your stories were so, so, horrible but Lauren thought this was the worst, and she thought Sarah got extra points for having the wherewithal to send her newborn along with her husband.

Thanks for sharing. I wish I could send you all packages! We all deserve them!

19 comments:

Elizabeth said...

That is too funny and horrifying all in one!!

Ballee said...

LOL, this is SO funny!
Hilarious! esp the mark on the floor..

Renae said...

I thought this one was great too--all dads should be so lucky to have an experience like this. Usually it is the moms who get stuck with the "fun" experiences.

Bethany Hissong said...

I'm thinking her husband should be the winner!! What a story to tell the future fiance?!! I am suddenly so at peace with my life today....thanks!!! ;)

Bethany Hissong said...

OH, and Happy Birthday (late)... I hope you're still celebrating!! I'm getting ready to celebrate in two weeks also!

Joslyn said...

oh wow...this is amazingly hilariously awful...and on some level I can totally relate!

melissa said...

I'm glad this happened to your husband and not YOU Sarah! Especially since you were recovering from the stomach flu. That would have definitely been a double wammy! My daughter is always urgently having to go number two and has had a few public productions!

Jen said...

She( her husband actually) DESERVES it!!! Congrats!

liz said...

oh. my. goodness!

Audrey said...

This is great. Just when you think life doesn't get any better!! We'll have to try hard to top this one!

Pascale said...

I had a similar experience with our youngest daughter at a bookstore. She’d just started preschool and was “sort of” potty-trained – one of the requirements to be admitted in preschool. As I needed a little birthday present, I decided to take her with me to the local bookstore at lunch time, after I‘d picked her up from preschool. I asked her several times if she needed to go to the bathroom as she was making that funny little dance she always made when she had to go. I even took her to the restrooms, but she refused to go. So, we go to the bookstore and I start browsing to find the perfect gift while she is playing with the felt board at the kid’s corner. All of the sudden I hear her yell “Mommy, I pooped!” And there she was, standing in the middle of the store with poop in her pants, looking a little terrified. I still don’t know why, but I picked her up and carried her to the entrance of the store only to realize when I turned around, that we’d left a trail of poop all over the store. There I was, outside the store, with a little girl with poop leaking from her pants, the people who were having lunch outside looking at us wondering what was going on, and inside, a trail of poop. I didn’t know where to start or where to look first. I needed to strip her from her dripping pants, in front of all those people enjoying their lunch, but I also wanted to clean up the mess inside. Luckily, the sales assistant had already started putting paper towel on the “trail” and handed me a plastic bag to put the dirty stuff in. Once she was sort of clean, I parked my little one back inside and told her not to move, so I could help the sales assistant. When we were finally done and I had given my phone number in case they wanted to get the carpet professionally cleaned, I noticed my little girl had been keeping herself busy by “reading” books. As I wasn’t sure how clean her hands were I ended up buying all the books she had been looking at. We are the owners now of a bunch of copies of the very same Maisy’s Valentine sticker book… I don’t even remember if I ended up buying the birthday gift or not. But every time after, when I walked in that store I couldn’t help feeling embarrassed again: “Yes, I’m that mom, of the little girl who pooped on your carpet…”

melissa said...

Pascale's comment is so hilarious! Oh my goodness, I would just want to sit down and cry!

Tammy said...

That was horrifyingly funny...I am sure we all have moments like that. I however have successfully suppressed most such memories...my children were pefrect!!!!

james and bess said...

congrats, sarah!!! you (& hubby) totally deserve the win! :)! -bess

lynne said...

oh, pascale. i am SO sorry. that is a truly terrible afternoon!!

13mimosa said...

I was alternating between horror and laughter - so much funnier somehow because it happened to dad!

Stephanie said...

Oh, that poor dad! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry...! [Found this article on Kirtsy]

beth - total mom haircut said...

At least it happened to dad and not mom:)

Found you on Kirsty.

Mom (a.k.a. Jen) said...

Pretty funny...I've had a similar though not as dramatically horrific experience... It sure is reassuring to know that we all have been there.