(photo by Monika Elena)
What a shameless way to start a post. But to celebrate, I've decided that what I most want to do most on the internet today is air a long-held grievance: why do we women feel like we have to do everything perfectly? Pretty much all of the women I know try their best to do whatever they are involved with as well as they can and still think they do a bad job. So today, let's embrace that bad job. I want to have a contest for your stories - the worst, funniest parenting moments that you've had. The honorary judge will be my hilarious and adorable younger sister Lauren who has earned the ability to judge this contest by having the following morning, which I will now share with you here so you too can fully appreciate her credentials in this realm (taken from her blog):
"So this has taken me a while to post and comes with no pictures. I was too mortified at the time to take pictures. What can I say - a vacation with kids has to come with naughty moments. We planned a month long summer vacation out West - starting and ending with my in-laws in Utah. Our first morning here I don't remember much because I was a little jet lagged (arriving at 3:30 am by myself with the 3 kids NYC time). The second morning Abby came into my room at 6 am with a fiercely bloody nose from the altitude change. The third morning Abby came into our room at 6:30 am - I jumped out of bed immediately for fear she had another bloody nose but she was covered in something else .... something white. So I go downstairs with her and see the entire kitchen is covered in flour and powdered sugar. My father-in law is starting to clean it up and is covered in it as well. Not so easy to clean though because Abby and James dumped out several bags of powdered sugar under about five bags of flour. My father-in-law said he came donwstairs and James was carrying the big glass flour jar into the foyer saying 'too heavy'. Fortunately that did not break. There were trails of wet toilet paper all over the kitchen as well from the kids trying to clean it up once they realized they had done something wrong which made it harder to clean because it was all sticky. Abby tried to cover up the mess by getting the dolls upstairs [I would like to insert here: her monther-in-law's collector dolls] and using their hair as brooms so we had to clean up a couple of dolls as well. I tried to find ways to get them to help clean up but it was really easier to get them out of the way and make them wipe the floor with paper towels after it was all cleaned up."
This story makes me laugh harder each time I hear/read it. So, if your best bad moment fits in a comment, leave a comment, or if it's too long email it and we will share it that way. The writer of the most horrible experience as judged by Lauren will receive 1. our deepest sympathies 2. a large bag of chocolate & candy treats, meant for you to eat by yourself after all the kids go to bed and 3. A copy of my most favorite I-need-an-escape book I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith. And if I happen to know you here in my little California town I promise to babysit your kids for you for an afternoon while you go see a movie all by yourself and find some emotional healing.