3.24.2009

to rock or not to rock?

As is customary with new babies, dear sweet Margot has her nights and days mixed up. She would sleep all day without awaking to eat if I'd let her. At night she sleeps in short spurts, and grunts and fusses between time. I find myself reaching my arm out and rocking her cradle during much of the night. My girlfriend says she'll become too dependent on the rocking motion in order to sleep. What do you all think? Do you have any good advice for training a baby to be a good sleeper?

82 comments:

Prue said...

I am a firm believer in not making a rod for your own back. If Margot is likely to become dependent on what you are doing to get her to sleep and you don't want to still be doing that in 12 months time every single time she goes to sleep then don't start it.

I pray that she will work out the times of the day quickly, and that you'll get a reasonable (though broken) night's sleep very soon.

Prue said...

Gorgeous bassinette by the way!

estelluxx said...

I wouldn't worry about it. Even if she does get "too dependent" on the rocking motion for sleep, it's not so bad. As a baby, I was really into being rocked, and when I got a little older, like 1 or 2, I would rock myself in my crib, on my hands and knees- in my sleep sometimes even! My father used to count how many times I would rock.
Even now, as a grown woman, when I get into bed each night I sort of rock on my side to get to sleep. My boyfriend loves it! He always giggles that I'm "wiggling." But at heart, it's that same rocking....

Joslyn said...

oooh this is such a hard one...and i'm not even remotely qualified to give advice on getting babies to sleep...my two year old is still in our bed in the middle of the night ;-) yikes.

ooh margot...sigh so sweet.

Anonymous said...

whenever you face a habit (and there are so many that will become bigger and bigger and bigger) remember that you are the leader setting the tone and though it will be painful (for all) to break in the beginning, kids especially are able to 'get over it' within days. some researchers say within 3 days. pain yes... over soon. make it a mantra and be patient. from pacis to sleep, it works. so do what feels right to you for now. rocking doesn't rot teeth or fry brains. it's just rocking.
and babies figure out the day/night thing. eventually. again... patience.

andrea said...

Why torture yourself. Do what feels right. It will all work out in the end. Whenever I try to parent the way the world thinks I should, it never works out. And we all end up miserable.

Anonymous said...

well, i'm sheepish to give advise, but i would say "rock that baby!"

myimaginaryblog said...

I've been feeling like I should know these things by now, but it seems once you get a problem solved with one baby, the problem becomes moot and you forget what the solution was by the time the next baby comes along. And then also every baby's different.

Since with a newborn you can't just let them "cry it out" (I do let my babies cry themselves to sleep when they're older, but definitely not when they're brand new) I think you're pretty much stuck having to do whatever it takes to soothe them, no matter what time of the night it is. That said, you could try rocking her just long enough to get her nearly to sleep, and then stop and see if she can keep herself in that soothed state. And if you can manage it, try to get her to be awake a little bit more in the daytime. (Not too much; newborns still need tons of sleep so if you keep her awake too much, she could become so exhausted that she can't soothe herself at all.) You could maybe also try gradually leaving her unrocked for longer and longer stretches, so that she does get the idea, eventually, that night is for being alone in one's bed in the quiet dark.

But I do think getting them through the day/night confusion mostly just takes time. And I don't think there's a lot of harm in rocking her if it's buying you a little more quiet and rest and is making her feel comforted.

I was just thinking today that I really could do this baby thing if ALL I had to do was feed and care for myself and the baby -- I'm just wondering how in the world I'm ever going to get around to anything else (like filling out all the paperwork for my 5-year-old's kindergarten registration, etc.)

Marie' said...

I agree with Prue. Don't start anything unless that is what you want to keep doing. We didn't rock, sing, night-light, white noise... nothing, and we have been happy about that.

Dei said...

Each jewel is different. What works for some, may not be the best for others. You do what feels natural, but a word of caution as a mother of five, if it's not something that you don't want to make a habit, don't start. Sometimes just a gentle rub on the back that reassures them that you're there is enough.

Ultimately, it's what best for the baby. In the long run, it is good for them to soothe themselves and go to sleep on their own. When their two or three and still need you to perform the same routine, it's not so cute. When they have been reassured by your presence that they can do it on their own and graduate to that in later months, it's a much happier household when everyone get their needed sleep, including you.

GothamMom said...

I break all the rules...until about 7 weeks. Do what you need to do to get through those first 6 weeks, then start your good habits week 7 if possible (awake to sleep for naps), and a little night time routine.

So cute, can't wait until our new one arrives in 2 months.....

Lisa said...

I'll add my two cents for what it's worth. I say go ahead and rock her, babies are used to being soothed by motion. I agree with those that say try only to rock until she is just asleep and then stop. I think the babies who have problems later are those who are used to being held or rocked the entire time they are sleeping. I too found that many times if I just reached my hand out and let it rest on my babies tummy he would settle right down and didn't require as much rocking.

I also advocate what Gothamom said about lying them down awake to get to sleep on their own as soon as you can. If you watch their cue like yawns and eye rubbing you'll be able to put them down before they are fussy and they catch on pretty quick. I did this with my last two and they fell into a routine much earlier than my older 3.

I remember those early weeks well, they are precious but exhausting! I hope sweet Margot gets her days and nights straight soon! Good luck!

Missie Krissie said...

My son was the same, you never know how tired you can really get until there's a new baby in the house! I managed to train him to sleep through by trying to keep him awake a bit more during the day and before he went to bed at night, giving him a huge feed. He was a little bit grumpy for a day or 2 but it worked. Then when he would wake up I'd wait before I did anything, to see if it was a fussy cry or an 'i'm hungry again' cry. If he was just fussing he'd usually put himself to sleep again. Sometimes just saying 'shh' worked so he knew I was still there.
That's about all I can help with, just remember that they go through stages and just when you think you've got it sorted and you know what's what, they change it all around. Just try to go with the flow and do what works for you. Good Luck!

Melissa Crowe said...

Well, I was a co-sleeper, and I had a tendency to ignore any advice that didn't speak straight to my attachment parenting heart, but then, I only had one child, so I suspect your life is very different and requires that you use your own best instincts. Whatever you do, your beautiful girl will figure it all out in time. Congrats and good luck.

susaninfrance/texas said...

I'd say do whatever you need to establish correct sleep times. rock. worry about if/whether she develops a habit later when you've slept for a few months and are normal again! My best advice is to get a sleep sac (that is what they call them in europe). they work so well bc they can't kick the covers off or get tangled in them and they get used to having them like a little blankie. i've got summer and winter ones. love this so much. other thing i like is schedules...my kids did well with them and i loved it with my 2nd and 3rd. 1st was all over the place (as it was my 1st time i was totally lost!).

icicle said...

At this point in her life, I say do *whatever* it takes to get some sleep yourself. A cranky, sleep deprived mama is much worse than a new baby that equates rocking with sleeping.
You have plenty of time to figure out and model better habits later when she's more likely to get it and you're less likely to need the extra sleep. Coz really, kids are going to do what kids are going to do anyway...

sally said...

Rock away. My son was born at the beginning of tax season. He loved the rocking motion. Some nights he'd spend the entire night in his swing rocking. It didn't cause any problems even though I spent many hours worrying about it. Rock Away - it doesn't hurt. Plus you need the sleep with three other kids to tend to. And when I say he spent a lot of time in the swing - I think he slept the first three months in that swing, he needed to be cuddled at all times.

Kyle and Lesley said...

Look like you've had some great advice... I have a 14 month old and really struggled with this. I really wanted to rock her, so I did... but it became a problem because I couldn't get anything done because she wouldn't sleep unless I was holding her. Things started to get ridiculous so we started to do a bedtime routine every time she went down for a nap and then when she went to bed.

We read a book or two, sing a song, and then I turn the lights off and rock her for a minute or two then put her in her crib. At first she cried when I laid her down, but over the next few days she started to get it. It was hard, but now we just do that same routine before naptime and bed and she goes right down. She learned what to expect when we start that routine and has had no problems whatsoever since then.

I know for sure I'll start a routine with our next baby after 4 weeks or so. The older they get the harder it is to break habits, so it's best to start young...

and with the bedtime routine I still have the joy of rocking her while she's all cuddly and getting dozey.

I read just about every book out there and I think the best for establishing good patterns that last is http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023

In the end, do what feels right for you and your baby, but know that you are setting a pattern that may be hard to break... like a lot of things, it may be hard in the short run to set her down and let her figure out how to self-soothe, but you'll be loving life in the long run when she's sleeping through the night.

wooooow that was a long comment. sorry!

Molly said...

rock. my step-mother-in-law (yeah, i know, that's a mouthful) is a pediatrician (and mother of 3) and she advises strongly to do whatever you can do the first 8 weeks to survive. she doesn't believe "bad habits" can be established that young. once your baby gets a little more robust and warm to the world, you can try to taper things off if you feel things are out of balance.

i remember with my two daughters it helped me to get into the mindset that i was in survival mode and that this was just a phase that the baby will grow out of. i have a two yr old and 6 mth old and i rocked, bounced, soothed both to sleep for at least the first 6 mths of their lives. i am working on weaning my 6 mth old from this habit but my 2 1/2 yr old slept through the night around 10 mths and has been an awesome sleeper ever since (we eventually did cry it out which was painful for a couple of nights but worked like a friggin charm).

i ran into this nice woman whose kids are grown and she looked at me with my baby in the carrier, trying to keep track of my 2 1/2 yr old and my bag of newly purchased fabric and i am sure, i was looking very tired and she said wistfully, "i remember those days. a busy mother. cherish them.. the days may be long but the years are so short!"

btw, your baby is ADORABLE.

Twinlinebackers said...

My best advice is to send her to me and I'll send her back when she's sleeping through the night. My 16 month old just barely is so you'll get a nice long reprieve. =-) She's DARLING! Congrats.

I think you do whatever it takes the first 3 months. THEN start worrying about what you want to be stuck doing the rest of your life. A newborn needs love, attention and every whim satisfied. It's not nearly as life threatening as satisfying every whim of your husband who comes to depend on it.

Jen said...

My husband calls me the sleep nazi. My kids are still great sleepers and awesome about going to bed by themselves... here's what I did to get them to sleep. To let them know it was bedtime I'd usually do a diaper change, close the blinds, then rock in the rocking chair holding him/her until they were calm and quiet (maybe 4 minutes or so?). Then I'd lay them down in their crib and leave. In the beginning of course he/she would cry, so I'd go right back in and repeat, rocking just until they'd stop crying, and place them back in bed. If they cried, I went back in and repeated. I started this with my daughter when she was 3 months old and it took a zillion times the first night, less the second, even less the third, and maybe about a week later she had caught on. With my son I started on day 4, and he was a pro by the second day.

I was always anal about them going down for naps/bed the same way every time, which I think confused my parents and visitors and I'll admit is more than a little strange. I guess I just did whatever worked because I was so exhausted!

Anyway, I'd try to get her days/nights flipped as soon as you can at the very least! Sorry if this was long and boring! Good luck!

helenw said...

Rock on! (As much as you want to.)

jomama said...

this is such a good question, and one that i really struggled with when my youngest (now 2) was a baby. he used to sleep in his swing and i was so worried that i wouldn't be able to get him to sleep in any other way. but eventually we made the transition to only putting him in his crib, and it worked fine. life with a newborn is hard enough (wonderful, but hard!) i say do what works right now as long as you don't have a horrible feeling about it.

Em said...

all the research says babies don't really develop habits until they're at least 4 months old so for now, do whatever you can to make her sleep. she is used to hearing your heartbeat and being close to you, so with my little one, i kept the feedings quiet and dark and just would stand and bounce or rock him until he fell back asleep. by keeping it dark, it helps them learn day from night. such a sweet baby just needs her mama's help to sleep and i find nothing wrong with that :)

Rach said...

I say do whatever you need to do... Our Minnie didn't sleep the night through until she was 2. Obviously, I do not have the answer...

Lovely moses basket. x

mrs boo radley said...

I have no sweet Margots of my own nor any advice to give you, but just wanted to pop in and tell you that you have a gorgeous photo here in this post.

naomi said...

I would say rock. We rocked both our bubs, and have no regrets. They are only small for such short time, make the most and nurture that baby! Being close to mama is what babies love, and I would say mama loves too.
Enjoy your little Margot.

Happiness found said...

What I did for my baby was to make sure to put him to bed just before falling asleep so he would fall asleep on his own. Also during the day for his naps I left the blinds open so the day naps would be shorter and the night sleep longer.

Robin said...

What a beautiful photo! For what it's worth, I rocked my daughter for months. (It seemed, in the first few weeks, she couldn't even be put down to sleep but was always in arms.) Compared to the warm, rocking world she had so recently left, a rocking cradle seemed like a logical comfort/need. In that sense, she was born dependent! She simply outgrew it -- I think around 5 months? (So quickly we forget...)

Good luck!

j+g said...

my theory, after two kids, is to do whatever she needs for the first three months, then ween her after that. i truly believe in the "fourth trimester" notion...babies enjoy having the experience of the womb replicated. good luck!

melissa said...

first off, congratulations! secondly, you are brave for opening such a can of worms! i co-slept with both kiddos and baby 1 slept thru the night at 8 weeks and never looked back. in her own crib at 4 months and that was that. baby 2...not so much. i had to kick him out at 2 1/2. he cried for 15 minutes. uh...yep.
love your baby. you'll do that your own way and nobody has the "right" rule. in fact, if they claim to...they are lying!

Jess said...

We just co-slept with the babes, and if they needed me in the night they were right there with me. They both went to a crib at about 10 months, and there was a learning curve at that point getting them to fall asleep by themselves, but it all worked out great.
What a darling name, by the way, I don't know if I said that before.

miapie said...

After dealing with a colicky baby and everything I read said that you can't spoil a baby past 4 months, I let go and rocked that baby to sleep every night. Once the colic was over (at 4 months), we stopped the rocking and did not even have to wean her off of it. I say rock her, do whatever feels right. You'll know when enough is enough ;).

Amy said...

I'm for cosleeping. Being next to us always put our daughter to sleep.

But even the most hard-core CIO book I read said the first six weeks of life do whatever it takes to comfort your baby.

I agree with Andrea too - do what feels right and works for your family.

Emily said...

I'm with the "do whatever it takes for the first 6 weeks" crowd. I don't wish those first weeks on anyone. They were always my toughest! As anyone who's had more than 2 kids knows...It's a bugger to have to be up all night with a newborn and then be up all day with little ones.
Good Luck! And hope she figures out her days and nights SOON!

Emily said...

With our first I was so stressed about doing things "right" that I think I did everything wrong :) He slept through the night by 3-4 months, but it was a long 3-4 months! With our second I was in full survival mode and decided to just go with the flow, having an idea of where I wanted to end up, but not necessarily how to go get there. At first I tried to do the nighttime routine that our son depended on (reading, singing, rocking), but she wanted nothing to do with it. She just wanted to be put down and she'd go to sleep on her own. She's always been good at expressing her opinions :) She slept through the night at 7 weeks without any prodding.
Just do whatever seems to work and I think it'll all come out in the wash. She sure is a cutie!

This is Carrie said...

I don't know what everyone else said, but we swear by the Amby Bed. We got it when our #2 was about 6 weeks old and would not sleep for more than an hour at a time. #3 started sleeping in it from the time he was born. We truly believe the subtle movement really helps babies sleep better. And you don't have to make the movement yourself.

We transferred them to cribs around 7mo and they both transferred fine.

Google it. Amby bed.

rebecca said...

As a mother of two totally different girls, the second one just 7 month old and finally sleeping at night, even though I did the same things with both girls, I say do whatever helps to sooze the baby. Yes it will depend and get used to whatever you do, but so what. She's a baby, of course she depends on you. It'll work out whatever you do, so you might as well spoil her. One night she will sleep all night just like that. Maybe in a couple of weeks, maybe in a couple of years. And believe me, she will do it her way, wether you rock or not. So just rock her and let her feel the love.
Habit, so what, we all have our habits and there is nothing wrong with that. Enjoy the rocking :-)

jojo-caramel said...

I am not a good adviser for training a baby to be a good sleeper... unfortunately. My daughter never has had a complet resting night :) Mais j'ai une chanson ;) Hé hé :)

Fais dodo Colas mon p'tit frère
Fais dodo, t'auras du lolo

Maman est en haut
Qui fait des gâteaux
Papa est en bas
Qui fait du chocolat

Si tu fais dodo
Maman vient bientôt
Si tu ne dors pas
Papa s'en ira


Le petit berceau de Margot est magnifique et appel au repos :) Belle journée melissa :) xo

Cate said...

I would say give her a couple of weeks to settle in, but keep in mind the habits and routines you are forming in that time. With our third baby I finally realised that I didn't need to feed her every time she woke or made a noise and the biggest miracle was the discovery that babies can actually put themselves to sleep. Amazing!I think that when you are on top of feeding and sleeping is not a hassle life with a baby is a breeze! Have you heard of 'Dunstan's baby language'? (I think it's called that) It's absolutely brilliant for deciphering those baby noises. ABSOLUTELY. BRILLIANT.
To sort out day and night I've heard it's good to take your baby outside (or into bright daylight if it's too cold) as soon as they wake, for the first feed of the day, and then again in the early evening before going inside to a dim room. It's a circadian rhythm thing.

goodluck! and congratulations!

trashalou said...

your house. your baby. your rules. What works to give you both sleep and quiet times.

for what it is worth i rocked my daughter because she 'needed' it and my son wanted nothing more than to be left alone. With both of them I made a shushing noise as I rocked/comforted them. This means it can be used from a distance to settle a fussy baby once you both settle in to a routine AND it can also be used by someone else. It is not voice specific!

My main piece of advice would be establish a sleeping routine - clean pants, food, rocking, shushing, darkened room, noise - whatever you want your baby to understand to mean sleeptime.

Sorry it probably doesn't help much but perhaps all these comments will give you some ideas on which to create your family's framework.

Kris said...

So much advice! I had eight babies and my eldest had her first last year. She receives so much unsolicited advice she says she would be confused if she wasn't so comfortable and confident with babies. I think you should do what works for you and Margot. I do think that you can't 'spoil' a baby and that the most important thing for you and Margot is to get rest. She will work it all out eventually. She is heavenly! (Remember where she has just come from. If she had gotten here first and it was you in the cradle what would you want her to do? It's all so different here, no wonder it's taking her some time to get it all worked out! This is the thinking I used to help me work things out when I felt I couldn't go on or I didn't know what to do.)

Good luck! I'm sure you are a wonderful Mother!

mizoal said...

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/

lg
anke

lera said...

Luckily none of my six ever had that problem.

I think she's too young to become "dependent" on the rocking. I think the only things she depends on is you. To comfort and feed her. If it includes rocking, then it includes rocking.

Best of luck.

the 6 o'clock stitch said...

Oh, I remember those first long nights. This too shall pass! I buy a copy of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth for every baby shower I attend. It is a LIFE SAVER.

Anonymous said...

Until my baby was about 6 months old I broke all the rules. Babies just want comfort and love from their mama.

Go ahead and rock her. :) She's so lovely.

Antoinette said...

I say give her what she needs. :) For babies, what they want and need are the same thing. I loved The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley for more elaboration on getting little ones to sleep through the night.

I would always remind myself that they are only little once. In the end you and baby will know what is best. Good luck!

Asha said...

I would make sure my kids were not swaddled during the day the first few months, letting them sleep when they wanted but not swaddling them. Then at night, I would swaddle. Not sure if that's why they never got their days and nights mixed up but it was just what I did. Good luck!

kristi said...

i echo kyle & lesly's rec of the book healthy sleeping habits, happy child. i used that for all 3 of my kids, and it worked wonders for all of them, even though they are all radically different (and have been since birth).

also, i echo what some other commenters have said about tiny babies needing the rocking motion because it's what they are used to. ultimately, they need to be snuggled as much as possible, and even though it's exhausting, this period of time won't last long. just have your closest friends remind you of this daily, and before you know it, you'll be sleeping again!

precious child, great photo. i hardly ever comment here but really love the creativity shared here.

kellyr said...

she's a babe ... she wants only to know that the one she needs most is right there. give her love and trust now and she won't need it later. i always say you can never love them enough at this age.

Allison said...

In my experience, the first few months you should do whatever it takes to soothe and comfort your baby...and get some sleep yourself. Every baby is different and has different needs and therefore different soothing techniques. I didn't have the day/night mix up with any of my 3, however I would swaddle only at night, and make sure the baby was out in a bright room during the day. I would rock my children, let them sleep in car seats, bring them in bed with me ALL the time as newborns (making sure that the baby was always very safe). By 4 months I had slowly transitioned them to sleeping on their own. I have 3 very good sleepers, my son napped for 3 hours/day until he was almost 4. I followed Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child and that worked well for our family.

Cary said...

Babywise. Get the book. We read it when I was pregnant with my first born. We have 3 girls now. The slept through the night by 6 weeks, 2 weeks! and 3 weeks!!! Through the night means a solid 8 hours.

This books tells you exactly how!!!

Megan said...

All this advice! Do what works for you and keeps you all sane. You know your family, your baby and your situation.

But for what it is worth, my 2nd was a bad sleeper, and we just put him in our bed for the first 6 months, as we didn't feel like leaving a little baby to cry. Then when we felt he was old enough did controlled crying and 3 nights basically got him sleeping by himself.

Eva said...

first: congrats :)
2. i just can tell after 3 babys: all of them sleept close between me and my husband, or, the first nights ON us, close to our skin. they learned fast to sleep like we do. and the breastfeeding was always easy, don`t stand up and feed, just while sleeping, make your life EASY :)
on day all of them were worn in a baby carrier (didymos), so they have the close feeling during the day.
don`t worry about co-sleeping. you have the feeling because you are a mommy :)
best regards, eva

lynne said...

Melissa!

I agree with the do whatever you need to for the first 6 weeks people. It seems like my babies for that first little time would have a pattern of bad night bad night good night; and oddly enough 1/3 ended up being doable until they got a BIT bigger. Everything is a phase, right? So I bet you'll only be rocking for a few weeks, anyway, if you do this. What about having her sleep in a baby swing by your bed so you don't have to physically be the one to reach out and rock?

I love you!!

Hello, I'm Sally. said...

Do what ever works right now. Babies needs constantly change. What works now isn't going to work next month.

Good luck getting some sleep!

Mandi said...

she'll figure it out eventually until then how could one not hold and rock such a sweet little baby!
Time is so fleeting, she will only be this little once!Enjoy her.

Lauren said...

I love the bassinet. I think the rocking is fine. Plus, I know a few girls in my house who can't wait to hold her and would be happy to rock her:)

If she is still waking up try putting the bassinet outside your room after you have feed her at night time. When they are right next to you both of you wake up more.

Good luck:)

nathalie said...

Delurking to say that you are an amazing loving parent. Follow your instincts. You already know what to do.

Nathalie

LizzieK8 said...

I would think that what you would want, of all the things in the world, is for your child to be secure in knowing that you are only an arm's length away. After all, she's never know any time in her existence when you weren't much closer.

Love your child, comfort her, and build up her belief that the world is a good and comforting place.

A child will survive no matter what you do, but I really believe most of us are trying to create a child hood that is more than just survival.

Rachel B said...

My mantra: Happy Mom, happy Baby. Relaxed Mom, Relaxed Baby. If a few minutes of rocking helps you relax and feel present, then it will help your new one fall asleep, too. Congratulations!

Miggy said...

I could talk about baby sleep until the cows come home. It's waaaay too early to be worrying about setting bad habits. Bad habits can be broken in a few months very easily when you are more rested and have a better hang of your new life. ROCK AWAY I say!

Zoe said...

Congratulations on your adorable bundle of joy! Personally I think that you do whatever it takes to get you all through the night with the most sleep possible. If right now that means rocking, then rock away. It doesn't really matter because everything changes. At some point she will hate the rocking and insist on something else. I have three little ones and the only baby rule I have ever discovered is that everything changes. The great phases like taking regular long naps, don't get too attached, it will change. Luckily this applies to the less fun things like needing to be held or rocked all night. It will change and you will once again have to figure out what she needs then. But at this stage it is all about survival, do whatever it takes to get a little sleep and accept that you can't predict or change the future.
Cheers!

joolee said...

Ditto on what some have said about Babywise - those books have saved my life twice! The feeding schedule will help set a sleep schedule and aid baby in distinguishing night/day. Beautiful bassinet, btw. Love it. Setting a schedule is a must, but I also think that you can't spoil them when they're that little. Rock them all you want, or feel you have to. They just want to be held close and comforted in the cold, bright, loud world they came to!

Meg said...

Love her....your biggest job is growing that tiny little body and brain. You can teach a baby to sleep in a few months or a few weeks.
www.kellymom.com has many good ideas for the early weeks!

clare Carter said...

What a blossom! I really don;t know what to say.My oldest slept through the night from about five weeks.No idea why-I suspect it was those long daytime feeds! I had no idea they got all they need after about 15minutes on thr breast-I would sit there for and hour!Little bugger.His brother did not sleep at night.I honestly thought I was going to die from exhaustion.The best thing we did was stick him in the room with his brother.He was about four months old(20 months between them_ and he slept most nights without waking.I like to think he knew he was Henry and that settled him.We always avoided doing things that we thought would become depended upon such as night lights or all tiptoeing around a sleeping baby etc but rocking a tiny baby I would do.All the vibrations of activity during the day are probably what gets her sleeping so it makes perfect sense that she needs it at night.
Good luck with it and I hope she sleeps well soon.

Myshell said...

I think it's best for her to know her Momma is right there. I believe that is the making of a secure child.

I am so happy for you and your new babe. How beautiful it is to hold those tiny hands, and heart, in yours.

Cheers to you and the new baby bliss!

Pocket Full of Kisses said...

Your baby is a beauty! What a stunner.
My daughter is 8 and wouldn't let me put her down for love nor money!I would sit up in bed holding her for hours, singing her to sleep or crying myself to sleep! And then one day it was over and she settled herself to sleep. To this day, she gets up in the night and glances in on us sleeping, I know she's there even though I don't fully wake. Then she just poodles back to bed. She's wonderful.
My son, who is 5, didn't want to be cuddled so much as rocked. So I did. And that was fine with me as he would settle himself back to sleep and somehow I seemed to sleep better just reaching out and rocking him. He now sleeps soundly in his bed each night, without a single peep from him. He wakes at 6am, bright and happy and comes in to my bed, ancient gameboy from his cousin in hand, and snuggles beside me. He lays silently next to me, playing his game, until I wake half an hour later. He greets me each morning with a great beaming smile and a "morning mummy!", like he hasn't seen me for such a long time!
I think each child has their own method and they are so dinky for such a short time that before you know it, you're sending them to school and wishing your only worry was if they wanted to be rocked or not! Enjoy and cherish every second and most of all just do whatever comes naturally and feels right. If I'm being totally biased though....."Rock on!"

sarah said...

I agree with andrea. Do what you feel is right... which sometimes means what you need to do to get through the moment. I'm sure you know what you're doing.

She's a beauty, btw.

Larissa said...

no sage advice to offer that hasn't already been offered, just a lot of empathy and to tell you this too shall pass! hang in there.

Susie Q said...

GET HER ON A SCHEDULE SCHEDULE SCHEDULE!!!! I swear it works!! I've seen it with my nieces/nephews. These kids thrive on structure and schedules. They are the happiest babies/kids you'd ever want to meet. You just have to be able to let her cry. But believe me, it will be SO worth it! Then you have to maintain the schedule - that would be making your schedule acommodate their schedule. If you have sitters/daycare, make them keep the schedule. I kid you not - a schedule is a key to a happy kid and a happy and rested mommy!

Susie Q said...

GET HER ON A SCHEDULE SCHEDULE SCHEDULE!!!! I swear it works!! I've seen it with my nieces/nephews. These kids thrive on structure and schedules. They are the happiest babies/kids you'd ever want to meet. You just have to be able to let her cry. But believe me, it will be SO worth it! Then you have to maintain the schedule - that would be making your schedule acommodate their schedule. If you have sitters/daycare, make them keep the schedule. I kid you not - a schedule is a key to a happy kid and a happy and rested mommy!

Susie Q said...

GET HER ON A SCHEDULE SCHEDULE SCHEDULE!!!! I swear it works!! I've seen it with my nieces/nephews. These kids thrive on structure and schedules. They are the happiest babies/kids you'd ever want to meet. You just have to be able to let her cry. But believe me, it will be SO worth it! Then you have to maintain the schedule - that would be making your schedule acommodate their schedule. If you have sitters/daycare, make them keep the schedule. I kid you not - a schedule is a key to a happy kid and a happy and rested mommy!

Lauren said...

Rock the baby, make sweet memories of gazing into those baby eyes and she will be just as perfect for sleep as any other baby.

Sara said...

What a beautiful babe! Congrats on your hard work!
In my experience, following what a child needs is the best way to develop a good sleeper. Don't we all need our book/snuggle/music/hot tea or whatever routine? Kids are no different. And they will go through stages where they need more and stages where they need less. It helps them to listen their own bodies and emotions as they get older.
I laid down with my kids most nights for there first 2 years. They are both fabulous sleepers now and I miss that snuggle time...

Taylors said...

I would rock her and love her and do anything to survive the first little while. She is so little and this does not last very long. enjoy her. By the way, where did you get her cradle? Please share.

Jennifer said...

Oh - you have to do what you have to do to make it through the day (and night). They came out of the womb having been rocked for 9 months - it wont hurt to do it for a bit after...

As far as sleeping goes, my kids (4) are all great sleepers and I believe it is because I woke them up during the day on sort of a schedule, fed them, kept them awake for a time, and then they napped. They all but 1 slept through the night by 10 weeks or so and the other one - well, he still has horrible reflux - he was 4 months.

Treasure every moment, but don't neglect to look forward some...

eva said...

..."You just have to be able to let her cry. But believe me, it will be SO worth it!"...
oh my :( sad that this is STILL an advice.
i will never gonna let my newborn crying all the time. one day they will give up and all they learn/ feel: nobody is there.
but this is existential for babies! they are absolutly dependent on us parents.
sorry, but i CAN`T believe this is still an advice.
schedule, yes, but not with letting cry!!!! not the small ones! this is heartless, antiquated and evident psychologically destructive. did you ever hear something about infantile impression????
sorry for that outburst, but i can`t let this be uncommented !
best wishes, eva, mother of 3 with schedule but not with letting them cry

Kat said...

Hey,

Firstly - congratulations! As for rocking, this too shall pass. Just done a review of Elizabeth Pantley's latest - no-cry nap - which reaffirmed my belief that you should do what your baby needs you to now and help them move on when the time is right. If it is not a problem for you then why not do it? There are so many rules people like to impose on our tiny newborns... Hoping you are getting some sleep and enjoying this lovely time. xxx

seemownay said...

I just stumbled across your blog and this post and feel very drawn to it. I had my third boy the day after you had your baby. You probably worked out your rocking problem (I'd say go on until your baby is three to four months old) by now, yet I would like to share a sentence that stuck to me: "It is all about surviving for them, every time they cry." There is so much truth in this ...

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